He tells me that im to worried. I think things over to much. My mind needs to be at calm and that i should just forget the past. But how do i exactly forget the past if thats what brought us here? I may not show it but my heart is empty most of the time and when i give trust i always get hurt somehow. I tried to back off and play the game of a woman who just wants fun and her heart set aside. Your heart is glued to all decisions though unconsciously which is wrong.... i sit here in my heated house in sweats and a hoodie but yet im still shivering with goosebumps that cores my body as my mind plays tricks on me. His words flow through my thoughts and his whispers are pressing me in closer. I now feel that i am the one to blame.... well am i? I suppose as a women i dont have a right to bitch and scream. My body feels weak but my mind is powering through. Mixed signs all around me just make my path more difficult. Its time to give up and throw the rest to the side. Take me back to Oz and tell him i dont want a heart.... he can take back his courage.... and theres no room for a brain. Hopefully i can go home empty and in the morning when i wake up from this delightful dream i can re play it in my mind until i find "the one" to fill me with love and sweet thoughts. Im just waiting till my cards play out. We are young and i know my words hurt but i want life in my hands so we can dance under the stars like our old dreams played us out to be one day. "Ill be seeing you... in all the old familiar places... that this heart of mine embraces... all day through" will play softly through the summer nights while we sway closely together in the middle of the vacant streets as we see everything as a haze but each other.

mister sandman i know your not mean

but please give me some time to dream

my life plays tricks which seem

to kill my laughs and causes me to act .....